Rugby

People who were rubbish at contact sports have long claimed the higher ground cognitively, compensating for their lack of guns with an advanced sense of self preservation, supposedly brought on by a bigger and more active brain.
I try not to be one of those people, although all entry-requirements to the club exist.

That said, the stuff commentators/fans say out loud during a game is great.

'The Stormers need to score some points now!' - If winning requires you to have more points than the other team... ?!
'The Stormers need to keep possession!' - Their last strategy involved giving the ball to the opposition, their fans appreciate the new game plan.
'Tackle him' - Or don't, your call - but he might score if you don't.

We went bowling, on grass, like old people, yesterday at Hamilton's.  Turns out there's some technique involved, and you can't roll it straight, even if you throw it hard, Juls, or if you roll it the wrong way around.  What you really need is someone who knows how to play, and the other team that dude.